Go. I've decided to put all my effort in applying for teaching jobs starting in April to leave next August, mid-year in South Korean schools.
Life in the states isn't offering me much in the way of anything - friends, a meaningful well-paying job, excitement - and it's time for a change. South Korea may not be able to offer all of those things to me, but who knows? Maybe it will offer all that and more. I'll be able to experience true Korean food: kimchi (their main staple, cabbage and spices) and banchan (side dishes), and all the different tastes that you can't get here, even in Korean restaurants. I'll experience a completely different culture from my own, something I've always wanted to do. I'll be able to livw among the people of Korea and visit neighboring countries like Japan and Malaysia, and maybe even Australia. I've always wanted to go to Australia, and in Korea it'll only be about 5-6 hours away by plane instead of 20!
I'll also get to experience a lot of firsts: getting a passport, visiting an embassy (need to go to the nearest Korean embassy before I leave here), flying on a plane, going abroad, being a foreigner in a country. I've never even been a foreigner in my own country! I've lived in the same town most of my life, with the exception of university. And I was never the new kid in school - I was in the same school system my whole childhood. Maybe I'll even learn more Korean than I did Spanish while dating a Puerto Rican guy for 7 years! And maybe I'll even learn to recognize some of the symbols. They don't really all look the same, but sometimes it's easier to say that than to argue with people who aren't open minded.
Among the things I'll miss are my cats, my car and my, well, that's probably it. I don't see my family enough in a year to really miss them all that much more than I do now, except my parents and my sister. And unfortunately, I really don't have a lot of friends here. I know people, but none well enough, or like none well enough, to have a real true friendship with. It's depressing sometimes, but when I think of :the alternative, I'm comforted. I could surround myself with meaningless friends who don't really care about me and vice versa, and that's even more depressing. I'd rather be alone than be fake-close to people I don't really care about, and who I know certainly don't care about me. And there seems to be a lot of that in my life. I'm a good, intelligent, funny, knowledgeable person who doesn't pretend to know it all or act like one who does. I give and take in friendships, but none of the people I know right now seem to either know that, or want that from me. Yes, its frustrating and depressing, but like I said, the alternative is worse.
I'm looking forward to sending off for my passport next month and moving on with my life in a way that may well define it for the rest of it. I'm not sure why this has been such a big decision for me, but it has been, nonetheless. And I've finally decided, after a good two months, maybe more, of weighing the options and thinking it through.
I'm going to Korea to work and live for at least a year and I couldn't be more excited for next August to hurry up and get here.
No comments:
Post a Comment