Gwangju, South Korea = My New Home

In a few days I'll arrive in South Korea. I have been waiting for this since October 10, 2010: the day I decided to go.

I have my Visa and my flight information and I am packed. All that's left is to wait until Monday morning around 4am when my sister and brother-in-law will drive me to the airport. I fly to LAX and then to Seoul, where I arrive and must purchase my own bus ticket to Gwangju. (This involves currency exchange, purchasing a ticket, and finding and boarding the right bus - my first task in my new home.) I am so happy that I am finally able to do this, that finding the words to express how happy I am and how nervous I am at the same time, and how bittersweet it is and how un-overwhelmed I feel about the whole thing and how it just feels right... finding the words is just so... pointless.

I love writing. I love that I am a writer and can call myself a writer, not only because I write, but because I get paid to do it sometimes. (Although what I get paid to write is completely different from this blog - small articles on a copywriting website that include topics such as insurance, beauty, food and entertainment.) Writing this blog is way more fun and I get to express how I feel and what this whole experience is like from my point of view. And hopefully it will help someone out there because when I decided to go, I couldn't find anything written by anyone who had done something like this.

But in this case, expressing in words how I feel about finally being able to be me, to experience something I've always wanted to do, to actually be living what I envy about so many other people... I am in awe of myself. I feel that words will simply cheapen my feelings.

For someone to understand how I truly feel, that I am filled with so much joy and happiness and nervousness and memories and wants and that I have no regrets and that what I feel is my life finally starting and I can't wait to be a part of it, all it takes is one look at me.

I am happy. And not the kind of happy that I'm happy about one thing but the rest of my life is just okay. I am happy on every level of my life. I chose this for myself. I didn't fall into it because other things didn't work out. This was a goal, not a settlement. This feels like the start of ME. I am doing exactly what I want to do and no one else has a say on whether I do this or that. Every bit of this is for me: my happiness, my excitement, my adventure, my betterment, my improvement, my education, my goals. And at the same time I have the opportunity to help others through teaching them English and giving the students something to look forward to (hopefully!)and giving them the same spark in their eyes that I have in mine. I am moving to another country with a culture completely different from mine. I am going to live and work in that country. I am going to learn from them and embrace everything I can. I am going to educate students. I am going to learn from the students. I am going to travel. I am going to see the world. I am going to have a job that I really want. I am going to have my own apartment. (Yes, I've lived alone before, but this is a little different.) I am going to pay off my bills.

I can believe this is happening because I've worked so much for it for what feels like so long, but at the same time I can't believe it. It feels almost surreal. And what's really, really cool is that my new city is an 'art' city filled with museums and culture and music and restaurants (some of the best in the country I've heard!) and it's about 30 miles from the West coast as well as the South coast and it has a large foreigner community so I'll have lots of great people to get to know from all over the world. Being from a small town that I never really left but always wanted to, and finally leaving and going half way around the world to live and experience something great, is really awesome and exactly what I've wanted to do since the day I was born. And it's happening in three days!!!!!